(Note: This post is not politically correct. The views expressed below are solely that of its author, and do not necessarily reflect the views of a sane or intellectually mature person.) Excuse my lengthy blogging hiatus (I’ll save you a Google search, it means “break” or “pause”). I have my reasons. They involve apathy and an Xbox. Maybe I’ll write two posts in rapid succession (which coincidentally rhymes with “recession”) to make up for my absence. Maybe I won’t. I doubt your lives will be drastically affected either way. Moving on…in the interest of my reader’s valuable and irreplaceable time, I’ve devised a simple test to determine if reading any further would be worth your while. Please take out a #2 pencil and a clean sheet of paper. An equation sheet will be provided. If you have any questions, please remain in your seat and raise your hand. A TA will be over to assist you shortly. Don’t forget to sign your name on the cover sheet of the exam before you hand it in. The following exam is open book and open notes, feel free to consult your search engine of choice, phone a friend, or even ask the audience. Who was elected the President of the United States on Tuesday, Nov 4th, 2008? (Please select only one answer) (A) John McCain (B) Chef Boyardee (C) Barack Obama (D) That one cute Alaskan chick…what was her name? Palen? Paline? Something like that… (E) I have no idea, hang on, let me check Google real quick…alright, type in “Election 2008” and click “Search”…holy crap!?!?! What?!?! (F) I reside outside the USA. Hence, I don’t give a rat’s posterior… (G) All of the above (H) None of the above (I) Maybe some of the above…maybe not… (J) I don’t believe in one right answer. All is one, and one viewpoint cannot be considered more correct than another. If you selected (C), you’re apparently an informed (and quite possibly depressed) individual. I advise that you stop reading this post, sell all your belongings (I call dibs on your gaming consoles), and move to a foreign country (since that’s where all our jobs will be going anyway). If you answered anything other than (C), then you either don’t want to face reality or you don’t have a solid grasp on reality. Either way, feer flee…er…I mean “feel free” to keep reading. For the past 20+ months I’ve been bombarded with all manner of political-ness which has pervaded every facet of my internet, television and radio consumption. As we approached the permissible polling period, these invasions incessantly increased in intensity. I longed for November 5th merely because I hoped this would bring an end to the annoyingly excessive permeation of all my media outlets (yes, I even heard political discussions on Xbox Live, they were often punctuated by gunfire and a series of explosions, which is how I feared this election might end) by uninvited politicians and their pundits. So there I was. The day after. I woke up yesterday morning with grandeur notion of the cessation of all things political. So I naively opened up my Yahoo homepage and was greeted with headlines like, “How Obama Won”, “Obama’s Road to Victory”, and “How Obama Made History”. Well, I’m no expert, but as an engineer, I’d have to say he did it the exact same way every other president did it. He got the highest score, the majority of the electoral thingys, the most filled-in bubbles on a scantron-type ballot. (Please, to all you history buffs/gurus/nerds, I’m not looking for a lecture on how America has elected it’s presidents over the years. I’m aware the Electoral College wasn’t established until 1787, and so my statement is not technically accurate. Just roll with it…) One more thing. I know a lot of you college students are ecstatic that your guy won, but does that really give you warrant to run around campus yelling his name until 2am? Whatever. I eventually got to sleep. Don’t worry about it. Because I always like to end on a positive note, I advise humming or playing an A# above middle C. I’ve found that to be a very positive note. I’ve also provided links to some of my favorite political cartoons that are now completely irrelevant and pointless since the election is over. Oh well. Enjoy. Irrelevant Cartoon #1
Irrelevant Cartoon #2
Irrelevant Cartoon #3
Irrelevant Cartoon #4
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